Yesterday we had a visit, a very small very fluffy little baby bird. It took us a while to work out what it was and if it was ok. Thankfully it was hopping around and eating and drinking all afternoon, but it took us a while to decide what bird it was because to start with this was all we saw……
Turns out our little visitor was a baby goldfinch, which we only found out after we saw it’s back and it’s distinctive tail. Now I won’t pretend I’m a knowledgeable bird watcher and neither am I am avid one. However I’m lucky that my mum is a fantastic gardener and we have a few bushes and trees in our garden. This means we get some gorgeous little visitors like this on a regular basis, and I can’t help but enjoy them. As said before, I’m not allowed a pet and somehow these little visitors almost seem to me like they’re mine. I look forward to the blackcaps and redwings coming back each year and our goldfinches are so beautiful.
Well it certainly was needed to cheer me up because this week has been particularly bad for me mood wise especially, but also with brain fog and the unspeakable problem. I’ve just been finding things really hitting me hard, and with one appointment a week for the next few weeks to get through too I can’t see it getting much better so I’m just going to have to get on with it as I often do and wait for the mood to lift. To say I’ve been craving naughtiness is an understatement too but despite no willpower whatsoever I haven’t been able to get anything so all it is, is craving (thankfully I suppose for my waistline)!!! I’ve even utilised the “distract me” notice on one of the facebook sites I’m on. For those of you who don’t know the distract me notice is simply that, when you are really struggling to cope or mood wise you simply type that phrase onto the wall and no questions asked people chat; post pictures and generally try and keep you going. It’s fantastic, nobody will judge your reasons for needing it or you; they simply help. I greatly appreciate all of the people who commented on my post, and I’ve had the chance already to reciprocate for someone else. But as I said I will have to get on with it as I have to. Hopefully crafting can distract me now, and of course planning and writing my symptoms for my many many appointments (so that I don’t forget anything) so that my depression can lift!!
One of the appointments was this week. Two days ago we had a visit from the carers association. For once this was all about mum, getting some support for her. You see mum now has to care for me 24/7 she never gets a break, or moans. She is fantastic, but is exhausted as anyone who worked constantly like that would be. So a lady came to see what mum needed. Now we have to say we were a little disappointed that we couldn’t really be offered any practical help, but what they have done is written a report suggesting that we are offered some respite care. Respite would allow mum to have some time to herself again, she could go into the garden without me needing changing. She could go out with or without dad and not worry that I don’t have anyone. Now we’ve never been the type of family to ask for help easily, we try and sort ourselves out but this would be great. It’s still not certain that we’ll get it because we now have to be reassessed by social services but it really would be great for us both if mum could just have some time to herself and to rest too. So it’s another wait and see, fingers crossed pleased, from everyone, that it won’t take too long to get reassessed and that they will take this report into account and help is out!!