The unspeakable problem!!

I know it’s not something that most people talk about and there is a reason for that but today I want to talk incontinence. It’s not talked about because it is embarrassing, it’s not interesting and it’s not something that you want most people to know about.  It’s not something that you can just chat about with friends but when, like me, you have it you can’t just forget about it. So I’ve decided to be open with some of my struggles with it in the hope that at least one other person reads it and realises that they aren’t alone. I’ve got separate diagnoses for this, I’ve got mixed urinary incontinence functional incontinence and nocturia. What does that mean?? To be honest not 100% sure and to me it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I don’t get the normal urge to go to the toilet, my body doesn’t tell me that I just need to go to the loo instead it waits and only tells me when I’m absolutely bursting to go and this means that by the time I get to the toilet I’ve already started to go. As discussed before I have a big problem with staying asleep, but if I did stay asleep I’d be waking up needing to go and the same problem then happens in that I can’t get there in time. I have seen urologists, specialist physiotherapists and had tablets, exercises and even stimulation none of which has worked. I now have an incontinence nurse who prescribes pads. 

The biggest problem with pads is none are fit for my needs, well none that we’ve found. I either leak meaning I’m having to change clothes 3 or 4 times a day, or they’re uncomfortable or both. The new ones I’ve had from the nurse didn’t stick, and my niece wondered what was in my trousers. I think that the bigger pads are designed for older bed bound people not people like me. Sensory wise I hate having to wear pads and with having to change all the time so my GP and I agreed that something more long term is needed and so we’re looking into the possibility of full time catheters. It’s testament to the fact that I am at the end of my tether with this because I hate hospitals and the thought of another op fills me with dread, but I can simply not go on like I am. So it’s another waiting game, seeing if and who will consider me and then which sort of catheter I might be able to have. Who knows. But for this and future posts about this the unspeakable problem is becoming speakable, I’m not saying it’s not embarrassing but it shouldn’t be hidden away. We can’t help it, it’s our bodies having some sort of problem. Mine is my wonky body not working correctly again. 

So it’s onto the next stage for me, urology for possible catheters. More questions for now to then hopefully sort out my unspeakable problem!!! 

Eurgh look at the range, not the height of comfort or fashion in any way shape or form!!! (And these aren’t the worst!!) Pads are for illustration only and aren’t nearly as bad as my actual pads!!!