Normal conversation??

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I seem to have totally lost the ability to what most people would call a “normal conversation” I don’t know whether this was a gradual process or it has just come about but I don’t seem to be able to speak to people anymore!!  Let me explain.

I met an old friend in town a couple of weeks ago now, and I’ve not seen her for a good few years properly.  Now a “normal” person might have asked her about herself and then just had small talk about what I’d been up to generally (OK now that’s not much but there must be something right??) but me? No I decided to tell her about my incontinence, my many hospital appointments, my disability, yes OK these are now pretty much most of my life however what happened to normality? What happened to conversations about hair, that I’m still waiting for a council home?  As I say this seems to have gone.

I know that I’ve mentioned this before in my other posts, but just when did my life just become about my health and my disability, why can I talk about that and not about normal things.  When did my brain stop telling me about the other things in my life, my niece, my blog, my craft?  Something in my addled brain somewhere seems to retain the information about my health so that I can spurt it out as needed at my many many many appointments (I already have 3 appointments on the calendar for next year and next week I have got 5 appointments) but the part that holds conversation seems to have been lost to the ether!!! I can ask questions about others lives, I can even sometimes concentrate enough to listen to the answers and retain some of it to ask questions about that, but what can I talk to them about?  Should I perhaps prepare a short phrase or speech like Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory, a cheat sheet of conversational starters and information about myself that others might find interesting.  So OK that might be a little extreme but I feel like even with my brain fog trying it’s hardest to make me look like an idiot, I should be able to find something more interesting to talk about.  I know that my life has become limited, with sometimes 3 appointments a week and with issues 24/7 it’s hard to even do other things….but occasionally I do.  I do get out into the “real” world and actually do talk to people, even though from this conversation I do think that probably they thought that I was some weirdo who was happy to share that I am incontinent and disabled and that this somehow is all I have in my life!!

Now whether this has been lost completely or I can get it back is anyone’s guess.  But what can I actually talk about, I don’t have children like most of my peers, I don’t live on my own and I am disabled and do have issues that affect my everyday life.  I don’t want to come off as rude and not talk to people, or talk to them but when they ask about my life just come off as moaning about my lack of family and independence.  I don’t want to be the person who everyone avoids, knowing that if they ask how I am that they will get answers that they really aren’t interested in or don’t want to know (I mean seriously who really wants to know about my incontinence??) Perhaps I’m destined to have all my conversations online, where I can prepare responses and formulate an interesting anecdote or ask my mum if my response is adequate!!  But whatever….. to the person who I let rip to about all my woes, if you read this please accept my sincere apologies about that random conversation.  To future friends who I see in town, please still talk to me as you might be able to tell from my blog I can occasionally have something more interesting to say and you never know the more people I talk to the more practised in conversation I will get!!!

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Perhaps you have some answers that you give to people when you see them, perhaps you share too much like me?  Let me know below, we can have a laugh together at our conversational ineptitude!!

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14 thoughts on “Normal conversation??

  1. Trust me, you’re not the only one, we all have moments where there really isn’t that much interesting stuff going on in our lives… And then we get into weird discussions and question ourselves… Don’t worry about it:) Keep practicing by talking to people and it’ll come naturally! What I usually do is try to get the other person to talk about their lives more and then just react to that:)

  2. Hello fellow zebra, you must not lose who you are, this was told to me a while ago by my brother who said I don’t see you as “EDS” but as Emma, there must be things you enjoy, talk about them especially crafts as I guess you like this by the name. I talk about all my problems but also other things in my life. x

  3. You are NOT the only one, when I was pregnant the only thing I was able to talk about was being pregnant, I seemed to have lost all other subject matter and I can still remember the eye rolls from others, in an almost ‘OH no she’s not talking about being pregnant again is she?’ and even now with not being pregnant and blogging, setting up a business that’s now all I seem to talk about. I think personally what’s happening in our lives right now consumes us no matter what it is and our way of coping or understanding it is telling others, if that makes sense. You should talk more about your blog, it’s wonderful. (sorry for the long reply)

  4. Even though at the beginning I felt a bit sad about the situation you are describing, please bear in mind that this not a big issue. At least you talk to people and you tell them about your problems, your fears, your worries, or your happy moments, your good thoughts.
    I am the complete reverse of the coin, I will let people talk to me for hours, ask questions about the conversation we are having, I show a lot of interest, but honestly, if you ask me what I talked to my boyfriend today on our way home, I don’t remember, because my mind just flies away, somewhere in a parallel world, where it’s me alone!
    What I am trying to say is that we are all different and no matter how you act, just be at peace with yourself and find the best you.
    xoxo

    1. Thank you, that’s so kind of you to say. I too have whole conversations where I have no idea at all what the other person said and I show interest to them but just can’t follow the thread!! Thank you for making me feel better about myself xx

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