I’m complicated 

We were playing a game with my niece yesterday and I realised that I’m just a very complicated person. I know that I’m definitely not the only one that there are many others who are, but it’s not just medically that I’m so complicated in!! Medically I know I’m complicated, as is anyone with a long term health condition like EDS.  We can have multiple co-morbid conditions, and often they work against each other. Whenever I complete a form about my health conditions I usually have to fill in multiple boxes, I have a disability, a number of long term health conditions, a learning disability in dyslexia and then you add into that complicated mix a few mental health problems too and you have a mix that often at times baffles health care professionals. But that isn’t where, for me (and I know millions of other people), where my complicatedness (ok I’m not actually 100% sure that is a word but it fits and I’m going with it) ends!! 

I’ll give you a little context here, we were playing a game where we had 3 questions where we had to answer what our favourite things were. Easy game you say? Not for me, you see in some things I just don’t have favourites and in other areas I have too many.  The three that she had picked were “what’s your favourite colour? What’s our favourite flower? And what’s your favourite crisp?” But I had a problem, she added a caveat to that, we could only have one per category. We often play this game with my niece and she usually allows multiple answers (mainly for me and her) but today decided that we could only have one!! I had a problem, take colour for example; I probably overall like blue best but I also, depending on my mood, like pink (certain shades anyway) and purple. It’s not just as easy as saying blue is my favourite, it depends on what it’s for and what sort of mood I’m in. Blue is always going to be in the mix, it’s the colour I see easiest because of my Irlens syndrome but on some days or for certain things it might be pink that’s my favourite.  My favourite flower is a peony, well sort of. I love roses and daisies are, as it says in the 90’s film You’ve Got Mail, “the friendliest flower”. It’s slightly easier because I don’t actually know many names of flowers, but I can say that I’m not a fan of Carnations as I think they’re lazy flower! They’re put into bunches to fill space as they’re cheap and are in the usual bunches for service stations etc. They can and do sometimes look really pretty (see previous post on flowers) but I wouldn’t choose them myself.  

We then had the question of crisps. This really does have many answers. It depends on the day or how I’m feeling. If I’m feeling more indulgent or less, if I am in the mood for one flavour or another!! This isn’t where my being so complicated (or some would say fickle) ends, I love chocolate but I couldn’t tell you which was the best. I choose different chocolates for different moods and different desires, different price ranges or different occasions!! In the end we decided that it was far easier if I didn’t have a go, I just guessed others favourites!!

So you see, as I said, it turns out (and is probably no surprise to anyone) that when it comes to me in pretty much every way it’s just far easier to say…..”It’s complicated!!”

I have to finish with a positive, as my day yesterday got far better when mum got back from shopping. She’d decided that we needed a treat, and who’s day couldn’t have got better when your mum buys you the most yummy cream and toffee/caramel meringue?? You just have to say, thank you mum!!! 

Well that and yuuuuuuuummmmmmm!!!

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10 thoughts on “I’m complicated 

  1. It’s so cool that you allow yourself the room to be completely honest with yourself about what you like, and in turn, honest with others! I feel like for some, to avoid seeming “complicated”, they just kind of stick to being simplistic when there is actually way more to the story for them. Wonderful post!

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